The Trivialities of Life

I recall distinctively a conversation Michael and I had a few years ago. He just read that families in this country spent an average of a dozen hours every week on running errands including shopping, which we both found astonishing. We wondered why people could not be more efficient and take just one shopping trip per week to all the necessary stores on one day and buy everything needed for the week, or for the month, when it comes to non-perishables. After all, we followed the concept of efficiency almost militantly. I would go grocery shopping once every week on a weekday evening to avoid long lines. Then on a weekend day, I would cook everything I bought that week into one big feast of 8 or 9 dishes. Often, I would invite some friends over for this one big meal of the week. Then Michael gets the leftovers for the next 3-4 days, with the rest of the time eating out. Since I only cooked once a week, the kitchen just needed to be cleaned once a week. Because of the infrequent and light cooking as well as infrequent and light presence of its inhabitants (Michael and myself) in the house, it was kept immaculately clean all the time, despite the fact that I very rarely did a thorough cleanup of the house. On shopping for things other than groceries? - well, we would take perhaps one trip every two or three months to Costco and stock up on all the things that Costco offers in huge quantities.

So I was very puzzled by the general inefficiency of the “average population” back then. I thought to myself, “it will be awful to spend one’s valuable time on running errands all the time.”

Well, that year was BC (Before Child). Since the birth of Winston, I have also joined the “average inefficient population”. I have a live-in nanny that also does the cleaning, but my house is still not as clean as before! I have been paying attention to how much time I spend on running errands the past few weeks. I lament to say that I certainly can no longer pride myself on spending 1 hour per week on running errands. There is the Ranch 99 supermarket where I need to shop every week – even if I don’t care about the food too much, the live-in nanny who is from the culinary heaven of Sichuan province certainly will not be happy or motivated if I don’t provide her with enough raw materials to cook fresh and decent meals every day. So I go there religiously every week to get a ton of stuff just for the week. Then I have to go to Costco almost weekly instead of quarterly, not necessarily because we are running out of toiletries faster than before, but because it just seems that there are so many things that I need to stock up all the time that I did not even need to buy before – water, soy milk (since I don’t like drinking milk), lots of chicken, beef and fish to store in our freezer, vitamins (I have got to stay healthy as I have a child to take care of now), beer (I need some alcohol to relax at the end of a busy and yet trivial day), and other household supplies. In addition, I have to go to Safeway every two weeks because I cannot find Winston’s baby yogurt elsewhere. And of course there is the Baby R’us where I sometimes would go weekly, because I would find myself suddenly in need of one thing or another for Winston, and nothing related to Winston can wait. Lastly, there is the Walgreen’s to get Winston’s prescription, as well as other things that he has needed before (e.g. Litte Nose saline drops) or will likely need in the future (e.g. Tylenol, band-aid). Where else have I been lately? Ah, yes, there is the optometrist’s shop to get my glasses, the bank to deposit the checks as well as withdraw the monthly salary for the nanny, the tire shop to get the flat tire replaced, the local Comcast store to return the equipment since I no longer watch TV, and so on and so forth.

I have only one kid, who is almost 9 months old. I also have a pretty competent and industrious live-in nanny that works 6 days a week. One would imagine that I should not find myself tied down by the “trivialities of life” so to speak. Still, when I am at home I find myself distracted by all sorts of housework – mail to sort out and bills to pay every day (and phone calls to make if anything in the mail requires attention), directions to give every day (when to wash clothes and what to include, clean up the bathrooms, vacuum the floors, get ready for a big lunch with guests) and things that only a mother would think of doing for her baby, such as checking on the windows of the nursery before he goes to sleep, smoothing out the sheets and blanket to make sure that it’s all comfortable and cozy, turning on the heater to the right temperature before his bath and getting his new change of clothes ready.

Now as I am writing, the nanny just came back from a short stroll in the neighborhood with Winston. Naturally I could not help myself but went downstairs to check to see if he’s happy. And then I decided to feed him the bottle of milk before his afternoon nap – I saw that it’s already 3:25 pm and since he’s supposed to go to sleep at 3:40 pm, clearly the nanny had not been paying proper attention to his schedule, which is perhaps rendered a bit military by me! - Yes, I know that I am a bit obsessive when it comes to Winston. After he drank his milk, I changed his diaper. He’s so chubby that he always tries with both hands to grab both his feet, and would just barely be able to do so, whereas other skinnier babies his age could bring their feet to their mouths! He’s clearly really excited still, and was babbling and squealing when I put him into his crib. But now he’s fast asleep, as I can see from the video monitor. He’s such an angel when he’s asleep.

The other day, while I was driving down the same old streets again from a trip to Costco or Walgreen’s, I was feeling quite middle-aged because of the monotonous and mind-numbing routines of life. But every day, as I watch Winston’s sweet and round face in his sleep, hear his uncontrollable laughs from the belly, observe his perseverant efforts in reaching the toys he wants and admire his big clear and innocent eyes looking curiously at me or something else, I suppose that the trivialities of life are a small price to pay for having such an angel in my life. I so love him!