The Burden of Choices

When I was younger, I thought that it was always great to have choices. I thought that it was a luxury to have choices. As I am getting older, I have come to realize that it could often be a burden.

When we have a lot of choices, we actually could be petrified by the significance of the choice. The daughter of a friend is going to college, and is trying hard to decide on which one to attend, given that she can only attend one. Yes, she is happy about getting accepted by several colleges, but now she has to make sure that she makes the "best" decision. When decisions have been made for her (i.e. in the case of some rejections), it is actually easier for her, because she has no say in those matters. But for the schools that have accepted her, it is a tough decision, and understandably so.

Speaking of marriage, now that we are free to choose whomever we want to marry, I do wonder if the level of happiness is higher. In fact, it might very well be lower, because we would wonder if we have made the best "selection", given all the choices out there. In the days of arranged marriages, there was no choice, which eliminated the need to "wonder". In the case of the marriage between Liang Sicheng and Lin Huiyin, they were introduced by their parents, although the decision was eventually theirs. I suppose this arrangement increased the chance of compatibility while leaving some freedom to the young couple.

A friend has just been awarded a prestigious fellowship at Stanford, but she is now agonizing over her choices. The other fellowship she has won is perhaps less prestigious overall, but there are pros and cons in each situation. In fact, after she learned the good news, she has been tormented instead of jubilant. In an ironic way, it is almost as if she would rather not have won the fellowship!

Indeed, to have choices is a blessing but also a burden because we have to deserve it, just like many other things in life which are double-edged swords.