Diet - Management - Parenting

A friend of mine mentioned Pamela Druckerman's book "Bringing Up Bebe" on the wisdom of French parenting. Given that we American/Chinese mothers are always feeling inadequate, no wonder there is a huge market for these books on parenting.

In today's America, there are several categories of books that seem to sell well, aside from the romance and mystery novels. One is diet books - since I am never on a diet, I can't tell you how many diet books there are out there. But I know for a fact that they often offer conflicting advice, which can only add more stress to the people who desperately want to lose weight. "Surely not everything can be right, so which one is better suited for me?" They ask themselves anxiously, and go on to try half a dozen of them, only to get even more stressed out that they have to resort to eating more in order to ease the anxiety. Then they gain weight, and look for another type of diet that may miraculously solve their problems.

Another category is business/management. Harvard Business Review regularly publishes articles to teach managers and executives on how to run an effective organization. If you go to the business section of a bookstore, you will be overwhelmed by how many management gurus there are in the world, all of whom best-selling authors. Some emphasize the importance of teamwork and management by consensus. Some advocate decisive leadership a la Steve Jobs. Some advocate a middle-ground - i.e. be decisive when you are sure but listen to people well beforehand, which to me is like saying nothing at all. There are more creative spins on management out there, such as describing Queen Elizabeth I as a great CEO and analyzing all her major actions as if she were running a business empire. Yet, despite the plethora of wisdom in this field, companies are not better run than before.

The third category is parenting books or books on parenting - these are two different kinds of books. The former refers to a boring step-by-step guide on what to do with your kids with respect of everything from burping to potty training. It's more like an encyclopedia, except that in parenting there seems to be many more different encyclopedias out there. The latter refers to books such as "Battle Hymns of a Tiger Mother" and "Bringing Up Bebe", which appeal to the perplexed and overworked parents who wonder why their kids still are not perfect despite their following those parenting books. Not surprisingly, we are not better parents or even happier parents because of the access to such abundant advice. Therefore, the market clamors for more. Any more twist on parenting? What if someone writes a book on "why the professors' kids are better kids?" Will that sell?

At the end of the day, I realize that the fundamental reason is that we feel a huge challenge and we want a quick answer or a one-size-fits-all solution. For people who grew up on an unhealthy diet without a habit of exercise, no diet is going to do the wonder unless the person starts eating healthy and exercising regularly. For those in management, reading books and learning from the experts is important, but the hard work comes afterwards in learning on the job, taking the time to figure out what works for you and your organization. For us parents, just the sheer magnitude of conflicting advice out there should be enough to remind us that each kid is different, and unless we spend the time and attention to figure out what works for our individual kid as he grows up, we will be forever searching for the magic recipe.

Nothing beats hard work and patience in solving a problem or addressing a challenge. Now - is that something we need to read in a book?