This past week, both Elizabeth Taylor and Geraldine Ferraro passed away. While they seem to have nothing in common in real life, I can't help but think of them together in the context of feminist movement.
I am not a fan of the feminist movement, paradoxically because I am a proponent of the feminist ideals, which in my opinion have not been served by the radical feminist movement.
Elizabeth Taylor never claimed to have been a feminist, but she made her own ostentatious feminist statement by marrying seven husbands in eight marriages, and by essentially doing whatever she felt like doing, which often bordered on the vulgar. As she famously said, "I know that I am vulgar. But would you have me any other way?" Geraldine Ferraro was a product of the ultra-feminist movement which put more emphasis on style over substance. She admitted that she would never have been the Democratic vice president nominee had she not been a woman, but I guess she never accepted that an easy nomination due to one's gender would lead to a difficult campaign due to one's gender. Hillary Clinton had more legitimate reasons to feel bitter than Geraldine Ferraro.
Ultimately, the true lesson in life is that life is never meant to be fair. You make the best out of what you have and that is all. True - that lesson runs so counter to what we all learned in school growing up. But perhaps that is why so many people were then shocked or disillusioned at some point, with some learning the harsh lessons and moving on, and some staying in a state of denial and bitterness.
To some extent, while I am not a fan of either Elizabeth Taylor or Geraldine Ferraro, I admire Elizabeth Taylor's brutal honesty about what she was and how she got where she was. She did not pretend that it was her talent that led to her celebrity status, unlike some of the modern day actors and actresses. She assumed loss of privacy as part of the celebrity package, unlike some of the modern day celebrities.
In a way, perhaps what I dislike about the radical feminist movement is the fact that they embrace inequality when it suits their purpose, and cry out loud when it does not.
Maybe in the wake of the death of Elizabeth Taylor and Geraldine Ferraro, we should all remember that if we accept good things we don't deserve, we should gracefully accept bad things we don't deserve as well, and move on.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
The End of "Life with a Live-in Nanny"
I am perhaps a very demanding boss both at home and at work. One of my friends pointed out wisely that being demanding and getting things done seemed to go hand in hand.
As Winston grows up so fast, I am beginning to feel the pressure from everywhere to send him to daycare to be exposed to other kids. Honestly if I were completely satisfied with Winston's nanny, I would have probably postponed the decision. But hey, I am a demanding boss which means that I am not easily satisfied. It's very likely that he will get a spot at the Stanford daycare place which is only 5 minutes away. But I fret over the fact that he is so verbal in Chinese now without any understanding of English. Therefore, when I heard about a Chinese immersion daycare in Sunnyvale I immediately went to take a look. Again, as a demanding person, I did not find it too satisfying. But it may be Winston's chance to transition into an English-speaking world and into daycare setting, so I decided to give it a try. Then the question was when I would start him.
The nanny was pretty good for the first couple of months. I guess as time goes on, all relationships would expose people's weaknesses and shortcomings and no one can make effort forever beyond what she would rather do. As I am taking a business trip to Shanghai, I fretted over whether she would do a good job or not when I was gone. Finally I decided that I would fly my mom over, let the nanny go, and then start Winston in daycare after I come back from China.
I told her right after I bought the ticket for my mom on March 6, and I said that I would prefer that she starts a new job after March 20. First, she was so unhappy that I was letting her go. Then she complained that it was not enough time to find a good job by end of March. So I told her that she could stay until April 15.
Some of my friends were surprised at how long I am letting the transition period to go, as obviously she would not focus on doing the best job right now. That's the reason why many Chinese families let the nannies go immediately with just an extra week of pay. It sounds cruel, but I guess the lack of trust is really the issue here. As a result most nannies would also leave a job with hardly any notice. It goes both ways.
Well, I was proven to be perhaps "too nice" in the end. She told me yesterday that she might go on Saturday to try out at a family, and I said sure. Then 2 hours later, she said that the family said that there was no need for a try-out and she should just start the next day. No wonder many families don't give the nanny an advanced notice! Now I am stuck with Winston for a week before my mom arrives!
She left this morning, and I realized that perhaps this spelled the end of my life with a live-in nanny. I will still have to find domestic help, but I no longer need a live-in nanny. It is an odd sense of liberation.
As Winston grows up so fast, I am beginning to feel the pressure from everywhere to send him to daycare to be exposed to other kids. Honestly if I were completely satisfied with Winston's nanny, I would have probably postponed the decision. But hey, I am a demanding boss which means that I am not easily satisfied. It's very likely that he will get a spot at the Stanford daycare place which is only 5 minutes away. But I fret over the fact that he is so verbal in Chinese now without any understanding of English. Therefore, when I heard about a Chinese immersion daycare in Sunnyvale I immediately went to take a look. Again, as a demanding person, I did not find it too satisfying. But it may be Winston's chance to transition into an English-speaking world and into daycare setting, so I decided to give it a try. Then the question was when I would start him.
The nanny was pretty good for the first couple of months. I guess as time goes on, all relationships would expose people's weaknesses and shortcomings and no one can make effort forever beyond what she would rather do. As I am taking a business trip to Shanghai, I fretted over whether she would do a good job or not when I was gone. Finally I decided that I would fly my mom over, let the nanny go, and then start Winston in daycare after I come back from China.
I told her right after I bought the ticket for my mom on March 6, and I said that I would prefer that she starts a new job after March 20. First, she was so unhappy that I was letting her go. Then she complained that it was not enough time to find a good job by end of March. So I told her that she could stay until April 15.
Some of my friends were surprised at how long I am letting the transition period to go, as obviously she would not focus on doing the best job right now. That's the reason why many Chinese families let the nannies go immediately with just an extra week of pay. It sounds cruel, but I guess the lack of trust is really the issue here. As a result most nannies would also leave a job with hardly any notice. It goes both ways.
Well, I was proven to be perhaps "too nice" in the end. She told me yesterday that she might go on Saturday to try out at a family, and I said sure. Then 2 hours later, she said that the family said that there was no need for a try-out and she should just start the next day. No wonder many families don't give the nanny an advanced notice! Now I am stuck with Winston for a week before my mom arrives!
She left this morning, and I realized that perhaps this spelled the end of my life with a live-in nanny. I will still have to find domestic help, but I no longer need a live-in nanny. It is an odd sense of liberation.
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