I just received the class report of Harvard Class of 1994 in the mail, in anticipation of the upcoming 15th reunion of our class this June. Receiving this “crimson” red book did make my day quite exciting, especially in consideration of how little excitement I am exposed to these days. I have not been out of California for over half a year!
Since I transferred to Harvard as a junior, I only had two years to get to know people in my class. Besides, I could barely speak any English when I first arrived at Harvard. Fortunately, because of my husband Michael, who also is from Harvard Class of 1994, I have got to know more people in my class than I otherwise would have. I glanced through the class report quickly to find the names I remember, and what I found out about our class reminds me how different that crowd is from the rest of the world. So what are my observations and revelations?...
- There are people who wrote about everything and anything in their lives in the past 5 years (the verbose ones), there are people who apparently did not even update their contact information (the reticent ones), and there are people who cover the whole spectrum in between.
- Some have become professors at leading academic institutions; some have become partners at law firms, banks and consulting firms; some have made many millions from starting companies; some have become stay-home moms of three or more kids; some have travelled to exotic corners of the world; some have changed their sexuality; and some have led truly adventurous lives by experimenting with all kinds of endeavors that I did not know exist and still are not settling on one.
- Many people who have kids (or at least have written about having kids) have chosen rather regal names for their sons and daughters. I seem to recall “Alexander” as a popular boy’s name, and “Alexandra” as a popular girl’s name.
- Some are proudly destitute, because they have had plenty of excitement; some are proudly bourgeois, because they have established enviable financial and family stability; and there are those of us who are neither so cool nor so rich.
Only after I read the report did I realize that I also wrote a paragraph or two – I had completely forgotten that I did. I mentioned how I learned that we could not have excitement and comfort at the same time. However, reading this report made me realize that it is actually possible for some people to have BOTH excitement and comfort, whereas for the rest of us, we may not have either! Michael and I have led a rather quiet and conventional life by comparison to our illustrious and imaginative classmates, and yet, we have nothing to show for our presumably bourgeois and conventional approach either – no significant wealth to mention (my startup company’s stocks are highly illiquid and highly risky), no great fame to boast (Michael is only ABOUT to start a faculty job at a Bay Area academic institution), and no adorable family with 2.2 kids and a dog to parade (well, we are about to have just one kid – no twins unfortunately, and no pets).
I was just having an email exchange with a friend of mine in the biotech industry. He’s leading a biotech company he co-founded, and his wife, whom he met during graduate school, is a professor at a leading academic institution in southern California. They have one baby daughter. Michael and I share a lot in common with him and his wife, at least on the surface. He just told me that he was going to climb Mount Kilimanjaro in June, writing a children’s fiction in his spare time, and would probably take a family vacation with his wife and daughter in Vancouver or Seattle this summer.
I would not attempt to be too ambitious. If after the birth of my son, like this friend of mine in the biotech industry, I could still do a startup company, take trips with and without the baby, and manage to do a decent job raising my son, I would be content. – Of course, even if I could do all of that, by comparison to my accomplished classmates from Harvard Class of 1994, I would still be considered “below average” or “mediocre”…
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