Two Friends from McKinsey

Although my recent business trip to Shanghai was very short, I still managed to see a few friends of mine, including two from my McKinsey days. We went through McKinsey's mini-MBA training together near Toronto back in 2001. Looking back, I almost blush at some of the things I said or did during the training. How naive and clueless I was back then! Maybe another ten years from now, I will look at the current me and make the same comment.

One of them joined the Beijing office of McKinsey, became a partner and was made the head of the office, before he left to join a multinational private equity firm. He's a theoretical physicist by training, and is perhaps least temperamental person I have ever met. I have known plenty of scientists who claim that they believe in science and facts and not emotions, but they often are the most emotional and sensitive people I know. This guy is absolutely calm and logical. He talked about why he left McKinsey, what he's interested in doing, and the fact that he and his wife are debating whether or not to have kids. To some extent, I really do envy his ability to not get emotional about anything. But at the same time, I am almost a bit frightened by his zen-like cynicism. Maybe it is not cynicism, but rather a clear-eyed view of what life really is all about, that makes him so calm. He said that the fact that he was trained as a theoretical physicist makes him realize that nothing we do is of much significance, and therefore there is no need to get worked up about anything. 

The other was at the Silicon Valley office of McKinsey for a few years before returning to China as a venture capitalist. He's a very jovial guy and extremely fun-loving. He's got a PhD in science as well, but overall he's much more emotive and expressive. He asked me about my views on kids as he and his wife are debating whether or not to have kids. Like the other friend, he thinks a lot. But unlike the other friend, his thinking is often mixed with emotions. He worries about consequences, uncertainties and changes. He wants to find an "optimal" solution which he will never regret. In other words, while the other friend thinks that there is nothing significant in life, this friend views many things in life as very significant.

Perhaps, just perhaps, there is something in the middle between the two of them that would be the ideal balance - to take only a few things seriously but not too many, to do one's best with passion but keep in mind how insignificant we really are in the context of this vast universe and the long human history. This way, we will celebrate our successes and advancement, laugh off our failures and setbacks, enjoy family and friends, and let go of personal losses easily.