I Want Everyone to Love Winston

Before I had Winston, I would often yawn at people’s offer to show their babies’ photos. True – babies are in general very cute and funny, but do I have to look through that many photos? Almost 10 years ago, Michael and I were asked to take care of his colleague’s two kids for a weekend, aged two and four, respectively. They were super cute and well-behaved kids, but I still found myself breathing a sigh of relief when their parents finally came home. I remember distinctively not wanting to get anywhere close to the two-year old when Michael was changing her diaper.

Therefore, I must have come across as a completely different person now that I am obsessed with Winston. I notice myself paying attention to other babies I see in stores or on the street. I even think to myself, “oh his mother should have been more careful with his hands”, or “her mom should put a layer of blanket on her since she’s napping”, or “oh why is she crying so hard?” Any thought or knowledge of anything bad happening to any babies in this world could make me shudder. “Now you have finally understood,” wrote a friend who once told me how a kid would bring a lot of joy to my life while I wrinkled my nose – that was about 10 years ago.

Indeed I have finally come to understand why parents in general can be so annoying in pushing the pictures of their kids onto others. To some extent, it is as if Winston could feel happier if I can get more people to say how lovely he is. I know that it sounds completely silly and irrational.

That is why I cannot help but copying down here a friend’s e-mail response when I asked her to take a look at Winston’s photos and videos – yes, I am just another annoying parent, tirelessly trying to gather as many loving aunts and uncles for my darling sweet little Winston –

“After getting your email, I immediately went to Michael's picture website and your blog, to see baby Winston. Oh Sofie, he is so adorable! I am totally enchanted by him! It's hard to keep my eyes off him, he has such tender smiles and such innocent look in his eyes. It's so amazing that now he is totally communicative and has so many facial expressions.

Compared to the first photos you sent me right after his birth, Winston has grown so much. What 100 days can do to a new life! I giggled at Winston's grabbing of the Daffodils, and his wonder at the piano's sounds. I was also very moved by the essays on your blog, especially "Mommy's Baby," and "What every mom needs to have". I loved how you described Winston's movements -- words can indeed rescue what the camera has omitted. And I felt with you when you said you were crying uncontrollably when your mom left for Beijing. I would do exactly the same. In many occasions I had done the same, unwilling to let go of the most important intimacy in my life. You are a wonderful personal essay writer, Sofie! I think many people at our age, away from home, would find these essays expressive of our shared feelings.”

Perhaps it is a primal thing – I now feel that I almost cannot be friends with someone who does not find Winston adorable!