Making Up For My Absence

As I was busy last week at JP Morgan Healthcare Conference for fundraising meetings, I did not see Winston very much except for when he got up in the morning and right before his bath and bedtime at night. I am naturally a guilt-ridden person. Now that I am a mother, my guilt tendency has got even worse. I felt guilty that Winston had to be left mostly with the nanny for almost a week. I noticed that under his chubby chin he developed some rash – was it because he was too hot? Was it because his neck was not clean? Well – obviously if I were around, I would have noticed earlier and fixed it...

Last Thursday was the last day of the conference. I had to make up for my absence. So on Friday, I took him and the nanny to a story time at the local library, followed by a trip to Safeway, where he happily rode in one of those colorful kids’ cars. In the afternoon, after his nap, I took him to the neighbor’s house. While our nanny tutored the neighbor’s older daughter in Chinese, I watched Winston tour the neighbor’s house and play with the younger daughter. On Saturday, Winston got a trip to Stanford Shopping Center in the afternoon and played on the 3rd floor of Neiman Marcus, which he apparently enjoyed much more than Pottery Barn Kids – he has grown tired of Pottery Barn Kids! On Sunday, he went to a really fun play date in Foster City at my friend’s house in the morning and in the evening went shopping/eating at IKEA for the first time - there were so many doors and knobs for him to open and turn that he was ecstatic. Still, I felt that I did not completely make up for my absence. I still worry that he is not getting enough social interaction or stimulation.

My guilt is perhaps sufficient proof that I will not be a relaxed “western” mother...