Funny Winston

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

The Trivialities of Life

I recall distinctively a conversation Michael and I had a few years ago. He just read that families in this country spent an average of a dozen hours every week on running errands including shopping, which we both found astonishing. We wondered why people could not be more efficient and take just one shopping trip per week to all the necessary stores on one day and buy everything needed for the week, or for the month, when it comes to non-perishables. After all, we followed the concept of efficiency almost militantly. I would go grocery shopping once every week on a weekday evening to avoid long lines. Then on a weekend day, I would cook everything I bought that week into one big feast of 8 or 9 dishes. Often, I would invite some friends over for this one big meal of the week. Then Michael gets the leftovers for the next 3-4 days, with the rest of the time eating out. Since I only cooked once a week, the kitchen just needed to be cleaned once a week. Because of the infrequent and light cooking as well as infrequent and light presence of its inhabitants (Michael and myself) in the house, it was kept immaculately clean all the time, despite the fact that I very rarely did a thorough cleanup of the house. On shopping for things other than groceries? - well, we would take perhaps one trip every two or three months to Costco and stock up on all the things that Costco offers in huge quantities.

So I was very puzzled by the general inefficiency of the “average population” back then. I thought to myself, “it will be awful to spend one’s valuable time on running errands all the time.”

Well, that year was BC (Before Child). Since the birth of Winston, I have also joined the “average inefficient population”. I have a live-in nanny that also does the cleaning, but my house is still not as clean as before! I have been paying attention to how much time I spend on running errands the past few weeks. I lament to say that I certainly can no longer pride myself on spending 1 hour per week on running errands. There is the Ranch 99 supermarket where I need to shop every week – even if I don’t care about the food too much, the live-in nanny who is from the culinary heaven of Sichuan province certainly will not be happy or motivated if I don’t provide her with enough raw materials to cook fresh and decent meals every day. So I go there religiously every week to get a ton of stuff just for the week. Then I have to go to Costco almost weekly instead of quarterly, not necessarily because we are running out of toiletries faster than before, but because it just seems that there are so many things that I need to stock up all the time that I did not even need to buy before – water, soy milk (since I don’t like drinking milk), lots of chicken, beef and fish to store in our freezer, vitamins (I have got to stay healthy as I have a child to take care of now), beer (I need some alcohol to relax at the end of a busy and yet trivial day), and other household supplies. In addition, I have to go to Safeway every two weeks because I cannot find Winston’s baby yogurt elsewhere. And of course there is the Baby R’us where I sometimes would go weekly, because I would find myself suddenly in need of one thing or another for Winston, and nothing related to Winston can wait. Lastly, there is the Walgreen’s to get Winston’s prescription, as well as other things that he has needed before (e.g. Litte Nose saline drops) or will likely need in the future (e.g. Tylenol, band-aid). Where else have I been lately? Ah, yes, there is the optometrist’s shop to get my glasses, the bank to deposit the checks as well as withdraw the monthly salary for the nanny, the tire shop to get the flat tire replaced, the local Comcast store to return the equipment since I no longer watch TV, and so on and so forth.

I have only one kid, who is almost 9 months old. I also have a pretty competent and industrious live-in nanny that works 6 days a week. One would imagine that I should not find myself tied down by the “trivialities of life” so to speak. Still, when I am at home I find myself distracted by all sorts of housework – mail to sort out and bills to pay every day (and phone calls to make if anything in the mail requires attention), directions to give every day (when to wash clothes and what to include, clean up the bathrooms, vacuum the floors, get ready for a big lunch with guests) and things that only a mother would think of doing for her baby, such as checking on the windows of the nursery before he goes to sleep, smoothing out the sheets and blanket to make sure that it’s all comfortable and cozy, turning on the heater to the right temperature before his bath and getting his new change of clothes ready.

Now as I am writing, the nanny just came back from a short stroll in the neighborhood with Winston. Naturally I could not help myself but went downstairs to check to see if he’s happy. And then I decided to feed him the bottle of milk before his afternoon nap – I saw that it’s already 3:25 pm and since he’s supposed to go to sleep at 3:40 pm, clearly the nanny had not been paying proper attention to his schedule, which is perhaps rendered a bit military by me! - Yes, I know that I am a bit obsessive when it comes to Winston. After he drank his milk, I changed his diaper. He’s so chubby that he always tries with both hands to grab both his feet, and would just barely be able to do so, whereas other skinnier babies his age could bring their feet to their mouths! He’s clearly really excited still, and was babbling and squealing when I put him into his crib. But now he’s fast asleep, as I can see from the video monitor. He’s such an angel when he’s asleep.

The other day, while I was driving down the same old streets again from a trip to Costco or Walgreen’s, I was feeling quite middle-aged because of the monotonous and mind-numbing routines of life. But every day, as I watch Winston’s sweet and round face in his sleep, hear his uncontrollable laughs from the belly, observe his perseverant efforts in reaching the toys he wants and admire his big clear and innocent eyes looking curiously at me or something else, I suppose that the trivialities of life are a small price to pay for having such an angel in my life. I so love him!

Lin Sicheng Wishes All a Prosperous New Year

Lin Sicheng, aka Baby Winston, has been busy with New Year activities. Here is a sampling.

Lin Sicheng takes receipt of his first Little Red Envelope, but happily does not open it. "He who wants not need not open the Little Red Envelope," he says. "Besides I just like to scrunch it up to make funny noises."

Lin Sicheng inspects peonies in the garden. Actually, Master Sicheng has been too busy to plant his own, so the garden is his neighbor's.

As the Spring Festival comes to an end, Master Sicheng ponders which should take top priority in the Year of the Tiger: eating or sleeping?

Now I am a "Veteran Entrepreneur"

The company I started almost 4 years ago has been acquired. Overall, it is considered a success, especially in the context of this economic recession. I have received a lot of congratulations from many people. Some are just simple “congratulations”, while others required me to think a little bit.

“Congratulations on the bona fide success. I can see that perhaps you are not to gain much in the immediate future, but it has been a net positive for you still, in that it’s a rapid learning curve.”

“Wow. How do you feel about it?”

“Congratulations. You should be really proud of yourself, since you are one of the few entrepreneurs who have successfully started a company and sold it at the end.”

“Now is this your desired outcome?”

“Are you satisfied?”

“Congratulations. I hope that you are taken care of.”

"Now you are a veteran entrepreneur."

And so on…

Needless to say, I have spent a lot of time thinking about the past four years. Maybe a quote from Confucius captures my thinking succinctly: “By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.”

"Electric Shadows" and "Cinema Paradiso"

What a little-known Chinese movie “Electric Shadows” shares in common with the international hit from Italy “Cinema Paradiso” is how powerful movies can be, especially for impressionable children. Quoting something rather trite from a Landmark Theatres commercial, “the language of film is universal.”

While “Cinema Paradiso” was about a naughty boy Toto finding a father figure in the projectionist of the local movie theater, “Electric Shadows” is about a little girl who eventually did find herself the reluctant stepdaughter of the projectionist. Both kids were mesmerized by movies. However, the fate of the Italian boy was much better – after his heart was broken by a beautiful girl, he left home and became a famous film director. He only returned home 30 years later, when his father figure died, and that was when he rediscovered the power of movies, as well as how much this seemingly grumpy old projectionist loved him. The little girl in the Chinese movie, however, started out quite happy, but turned melancholy after the departure of her best friend, the marriage of her mother to the local projectionist, and especially the birth of her half-brother, whom her mother and her stepfather favored. She became grouchy and resentful, and even bullied her little brother. But this little boy was such an angel that he kept his own sister’s bad behaviors away from the parents. When she was told to study instead of watching a movie with the rest of the family, the little brother lied to the mother and said that he wanted to go back home to go to the toilet. So the mother gave him the key, and he opened the door to let his sister out to watch the movie in the open-door theater. The sister decided to take him up to the top of the roof, where she and her best friend used to watch movies through a pair of binoculars. As they were taking turns watching the movie with the binoculars, she again got impatient with the little brother hanging onto the binoculars too much, so she pretended to leave. When the little brother got up to follow her, he lost his balance and fell from the roof to his death. After that, the girl left home and became quite eccentric. Eventually it was a semi-happy ending in that the girl was reunited with the parents, after time had healed all the pain, or most of it at least, in the setting of an outdoor movie theater again.

Obviously, the story is a bit of a stretch, and there are many aspects of the film that could make one roll her eyes. The message is perhaps a little too loud and clear. It is about the power of movies – its power of inspiration, power of intoxication and power of redemption.

However, I found myself dwelling over a peripheral aspect of the movie – the little brother who fell to his death from the roof, after sneaking away to let his bitter and jealous sister watch the movie together. What an angelic little boy! – I thought to myself. Needless to say, every time I see a little kid, especially if it’s a cute little boy, my thoughts return to Winston. I simply cannot imagine the kind of pain a mother has to bear for losing a little kid. I am glad that at least now and here there is a lot of awareness about child safety, because I would otherwise be terrified of having Winston out of my sight for a minute!

He is so sweet and angelic. Yesterday at the doctor’s office, his chubby thighs got three(!) pokes from a needle for the three vaccines, and he only cried when the needle poked him. The minute I held him up, he stopped crying. He laughed the whole way back home, even though he was really tired and sleepy as it was past his nap time. He is so ticklish (like me) that he’s often laughing his head off if I blow air to the back of his neck, massage his belly, or tickle his armpits.

Winston Ventures Forth Out of His Warren

Until recently, Winston hadn't seemed to enjoy activities outside the house. On his excursions, he would only look around quietly, a departure from his usual laughing babbling self. He has become more active on the last few trips, though, so perhaps he is becoming less disoriented by all the new visual stimuli. Or perhaps he is getting accustomed to the embarrassment of the ridiculous outfits his parents choose for him. Sorry Winston, you don't get to decide!

I Need to Watch Some Real Comedies!

When I was about 9 or 10, a very popular movie at the time was called “Reaching Middle Age”. It was overall a tragedy, describing a middle-aged doctor almost broken by the heavy responsibilities on her shoulders from work and from home. The heroine was played by Pan Hong, an actress who seems to embody tragic beauty. She would give a tired or understanding smile, but she would never laugh, and it was hard for me to imagine how someone like her could ever have a belly laugh.

I also remember reading somewhere that the least happy period of one’s life is the middle age, because the excitement that accompanies limitless opportunities and hope is gone with the youth, and the satisfaction from having fulfilled most of one’s responsibilities is not there yet, with the unhappiness often exacerbated by the numerous daily tasks that remind one of his/her responsibilities at work, at home, for the parents, for the kids, for the spouse, for the siblings, and for perhaps some other relatives and friends. For support and advice, we can no longer rely on the parents for support and advice, because they are too old. The kids? – Too young. The spouse? – Too busy. The siblings? – Too distant. Other relatives and friends? – Well, we can only bother them so much, as they are in the same situation themselves!

We have all been taught the importance of independence from an early age, presumably because naturally as social animals, we human beings are not exactly born to be independent. We can think and feel independently of others, and we don’t like others to interfere with our business, but we don’t like to be alone either. All of a sudden, I find myself in the position of huge responsibilities towards the generation above and the generation below. I find myself the source of strengths for others - if my strength fails me, it will fail not only myself but also others.

As I am writing it, we are in the midst of an economic recession, which has had a negative effect on almost every sector. That has direct implications to the company I started, and this topic weighs heavily on my mind. My son Winston obviously is completely dependent on his parents, and we have to be there for him in every sense of the word. We can never be lazy and say, “well today I am too tired and I want to take a break so he will have to make do without me.” My mom is getting old, but as a woman who has been used to her way of life, she does not want to come over to the States, which means that she will only have my sister nearby in case anything happens. My sister has not been happy, and has recently been upset at both my mom and me, either due to miscommunication, or perhaps other more serious reasons. Michael started his faculty job at Stanford when the government is short on money, which makes an already stressful career even more stressful.

Since I started subscribing to Netflix, I have watched quite a few old movies, many of which are completely forgettable. “Summer Hours” by Olivier Assayas from France – I am amazed that such movies can be made since they are truly about nothing. “The Personals” starring Rene Liu from Taiwan – I realized that I had seen it before, which shows how boring it is. “The International” is presumably a thriller with hot stars like Naomi Watts and Clive Owen, but I have already completely forgotten what it was about. Unfortunately the only movie that I can remember is a sad one from Germany “Cherry Blossums”, exploring life and death, happiness and sorrow, hopes and regrets. I was haunted by the tragic undertone of the movie that I woke up at 3 am this morning, unable to fall asleep again. All I could think of was how ironic that in this one movie both husband and wife had to learn to deal with the other person’s death, one in prospect and the other in reality. I thought to myself, “ this is all too morbid. I need to watch some comedies!”

Not surprisingly, my favorite comedian is Woody Allen, whose comedies are not exactly the most lighthearted. Maybe what he said captures the lows I have been feeling and the weight I have been feeling about life with my responsibilities at this stage of my life:

“Most of life is tragic. You're born, you don't know why. You're here, you don't know why. You go, you die. Your family dies. Your friends die. People suffer. People live in constant terror. The world is full of poverty and corruption and war and Nazis and tsunamis. The net result, the final count is, you lose - you don't beat the house.”

I need to watch some real comedies!