Favorites

One of my friends wrote me out of the blue on how desperately in love she was with her younger son. I asked her what happened, and it was just a look that the little boy gave her when she dropped him off at school.

I met both her boys, and the older one is just as cute. She said that the little one just was more attached to her and love was a two-way street after all. She knew that it was not a good idea for parents to have favorites, but she just could not help it.

Indeed as far as I can see, I do not know of a family with multiple kids that did not struggle with the issue of "favorites", perceived or real. It is certainly impossible for a perfect fairness to be established, for that criterion itself is an arbitrary one.

I recall reading about the Chinese writer Qian Zhongshu telling his wife how they should just not have more kids after their daughter as they might like the younger ones more, which would hurt their daughter's feelings.

When I mentioned to my mom how there were so many needy orphans in China and if it were not too much trouble (indeed I blush to admit that I am no Mother Teresa) I would adopt one, she immediately told me that she would only pay attention to Winston. She already jokingly refers to him as "a little prince", and I can only imagine how much more she would favor him to another "adopted" kid.