Poor Winston threw up his lunch because he was coughing very hard. His nose was so stuffed that he was crying a great deal before finally falling asleep today. I am having an internet discussion with my friend, as I complain to her about the nanny who’s probably neither so efficient at work nor very careful in separating Winston from sick people when they go to the playground. She thinks that I am way too OCD about cleanliness, and that even if it’s the nanny’s fault that Winston gets sick so often, the best approach is to deal with it peacefully, instead of blaming her. I admit that I could be a demanding boss when it comes to Winston.
And as it turned out, I have since caught Winston’s cold, because I have spent the most time taking care of him during his sickness.
Hiring and managing a live-in nanny definitely has been a learning experience for me, and a painful one for that matter. I have leanred to lower my expectations, as Winston grows bigger and less vulnerable. Indeed I wish that I could find a perfect nanny for Winston, but so far I have learned to settle for less. At least, he will be going to daycare next year, in which case I can deal with finding someone else then.
I remember my own nanny, who took care of me until I was about four years old. I remember being closer to her than my mother, as my mother would chase after me to force me to go to school when I did not understand anything that was taught in school. After all I was not even four years old then! My mother probably thought that it was good for me to be exposed to a classroom, and I simply did not want to sit there. My most distinctive memory from that period is watching my mom across the vegetable field as she was chasing after me around the field, with my nanny at my side, frantically helping me to escape my mother. I suppose that my mother was not too pleased with the nanny aiding in my escape.
When we moved back to Beijing, she came to visit me once, and I was elated to see her. I wanted her to stay, but eventually she went back to the countryside of Shanxi. She died very lonely. I think about her still.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Halloween
Many people have asked me if I am planning to do anything special for Halloween and my answer has been no. Sure, I am a rather lazy mother in that I try not to plan things which Winston might be too young to appreciate anyways. But in all honesty, I have always been a bit anti-Halloween.
There are 3 aspects to Halloween that I don’t like:
First, it encourages kids to eat candies. I was unlucky to have been born in the austere Mao-era of China, but I was lucky to have not been exposed to sweets often in my childhood. As a result, to this day, I don’t eat candies or sweet things in general. In a country with abundant access to candies, it will be hard enough for me to keep Winston away from such junk food. And I certainly don’t want Halloween’s help....
Second, I hate horror films, and I genuinely think that it is not a good idea for little kids to be exposed to scary things. And Halloween is all about scary costumes and masks. Americans’ fascination with horror does baffle me. Doesn’t everyone want to sleep soundly without waking up in a nightmare?
Third, I dislike holidays that encourage comparisons. Who has better costumes? What are you going to be this year? How much candy did you get? Etc, etc. There is enough peer pressure already!
There are 3 aspects to Halloween that I don’t like:
First, it encourages kids to eat candies. I was unlucky to have been born in the austere Mao-era of China, but I was lucky to have not been exposed to sweets often in my childhood. As a result, to this day, I don’t eat candies or sweet things in general. In a country with abundant access to candies, it will be hard enough for me to keep Winston away from such junk food. And I certainly don’t want Halloween’s help....
Second, I hate horror films, and I genuinely think that it is not a good idea for little kids to be exposed to scary things. And Halloween is all about scary costumes and masks. Americans’ fascination with horror does baffle me. Doesn’t everyone want to sleep soundly without waking up in a nightmare?
Third, I dislike holidays that encourage comparisons. Who has better costumes? What are you going to be this year? How much candy did you get? Etc, etc. There is enough peer pressure already!
London
I went to London for a business conference. Since the conference started on Monday morning, I flew in on Sunday morning. I have always loved London and certainly could not pass up the chance to see a bit of London with a few extra hours. A friend of mine who works at Schlumberger near Oxford came up to London and we visited the National Gallery in Trafalgar Square, had a fusion Indian lunch and then a light Japanese dinner. The hotel (City Inn Westminster) is only a few minutes from Westminster Abbey and Parliament, and the conference took place at Queen Elizabeth II conference center which is next to the Abbey. While I missed Winston and worried about him a little bit, I did enjoy the few days in London despite a very hectic conference schedule meeting with over 30 companies in two days.
One of the observations my friend made after living in the UK for a while was that “there are many more doors”. I said that I had not noticed it. Then I started noticing it! I think it is due to the British sense of propriety that they have so many more doors, especially in publich bathrooms. I would open one door, only to realize that it was leading to another door. I suppose this type of arrangement would ensure that no one would be caught in an embarrassing state!
One of the observations my friend made after living in the UK for a while was that “there are many more doors”. I said that I had not noticed it. Then I started noticing it! I think it is due to the British sense of propriety that they have so many more doors, especially in publich bathrooms. I would open one door, only to realize that it was leading to another door. I suppose this type of arrangement would ensure that no one would be caught in an embarrassing state!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Winston Got Sick Again!
Winston got sick again! Maybe he was healthy for about 5 days after he recovered from the last cold. I could not believe my own eyes when I saw him with a runny nose. Because of the stuffy nose, he did not sleep much during his nap and went to sleep at 7:30 pm. Then around 9:30 pm he suddenly got up from his crib, started coughing, and when I opened the door, I saw him holding onto the crib railing throwing up his dinner. Throughout all this, he hardly cried. I felt so sorry for him. He’s still just a baby.
After we cleaned up his crib, I put him down and he immediately closed his eyes and went back to sleep. He was so exhausted. I told a friend of mine about it, and she said that she really felt for me. She has 3 boys, and with each one of them having to build up an immune system, I imagine that the mother must by necessity develop a heroic personality. I guess I ought not to complain about my own suffering seeing my son sick with a cold.
If a toddler gets sick 12 times on average every year, does it mean that I have another 10 to look forward to until September 2011?
After we cleaned up his crib, I put him down and he immediately closed his eyes and went back to sleep. He was so exhausted. I told a friend of mine about it, and she said that she really felt for me. She has 3 boys, and with each one of them having to build up an immune system, I imagine that the mother must by necessity develop a heroic personality. I guess I ought not to complain about my own suffering seeing my son sick with a cold.
If a toddler gets sick 12 times on average every year, does it mean that I have another 10 to look forward to until September 2011?
Friday, October 1, 2010
Revisit "Anna Karenina"
I watched the BBC adaptation of Leo Tolstoy’s “Anna Karenina” when I was a kid. I don’t remember much except that my grandmother and mother both found Anna unbearable and Karenin likable. Their comments were, “What’s wrong with Anna? Karenin is such a nice guy. And that Count Vronsky is a rascal for sure.”
Somehow, I thought of watching it again when I found it on Netflix. No wonder I did not remember a thing from before –I could not have possibly possessed the intellect or experience to truly understand it. Tolstoy’s ability to understand human emotions is truly astounding. It is almost as if he lived through Anna’s experience. Maybe it has to do with the fact that he was gay after all, which made it possible for him to get a pulse on a woman’s feelings.
Yes, indeed I can see why my grandmother and my mother could not stand Anna. She was after all impetuous, impossible and unstable in the end. Yet at the same time, as a grown woman, I can also understand Anna and truly feel sorry for her, as her fate was inevitable. Nicola Pagett’s portrayal of Anna was terrific. Interestingly, I remember my mother telling me that she flipped through all the sections on Levin when she was reading the book. And here I was, fast-forwarding all the sections on Levin when I was watching the TV series. I really found him tedious. I suppose that he represented an individual with political ideals, whereas Anna was just an individual struggling with her personal happiness. However, ultimately what touches me is not abstract lofty ideals – it is always intensely personal and individualized feelings.
That is why we live – to experience a whole gamut of emotions through our experiences on earth. Perhaps I used to fool myself into thinking that our human existence is meant to make a big difference to the world, to the planet and to the whole universe. But now I realize that fundamentally the only thing that ever touches me viscerally is palpable and understandable human emotion. And Tolstoy was a master in capturing it with his masterpiece “Anna Karenina”.
Somehow, I thought of watching it again when I found it on Netflix. No wonder I did not remember a thing from before –I could not have possibly possessed the intellect or experience to truly understand it. Tolstoy’s ability to understand human emotions is truly astounding. It is almost as if he lived through Anna’s experience. Maybe it has to do with the fact that he was gay after all, which made it possible for him to get a pulse on a woman’s feelings.
Yes, indeed I can see why my grandmother and my mother could not stand Anna. She was after all impetuous, impossible and unstable in the end. Yet at the same time, as a grown woman, I can also understand Anna and truly feel sorry for her, as her fate was inevitable. Nicola Pagett’s portrayal of Anna was terrific. Interestingly, I remember my mother telling me that she flipped through all the sections on Levin when she was reading the book. And here I was, fast-forwarding all the sections on Levin when I was watching the TV series. I really found him tedious. I suppose that he represented an individual with political ideals, whereas Anna was just an individual struggling with her personal happiness. However, ultimately what touches me is not abstract lofty ideals – it is always intensely personal and individualized feelings.
That is why we live – to experience a whole gamut of emotions through our experiences on earth. Perhaps I used to fool myself into thinking that our human existence is meant to make a big difference to the world, to the planet and to the whole universe. But now I realize that fundamentally the only thing that ever touches me viscerally is palpable and understandable human emotion. And Tolstoy was a master in capturing it with his masterpiece “Anna Karenina”.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Winston got sick...
Winston caught a cold right after I came back from Boston. It really has been painful for me to see him sufer from the cold, with his eyes watery, nose runny and gasping for air every time he drinks milk or water or eat anything, as he needed his mouth to breathe.
He’s still at home with the live-in nanny, because I want to postpone the time when he will be catching all kinds of viruses and germs until he’s at least 2 years old. Therefore, I was not happy with the nanny or Michael. Of course, as a mother, I immediately noticed a lot of things – he was dressed too lightly, he did not have enough blanket on him, he was not separated from sick kids in the park, and his hands were not promptly washed or wiped after touching dirty things, etc.
Several friends told me that parents suffer more than the kids when the kids are sick, especially babies, and they are right. While I had a lingering cold for almost a month, somehow it was not that bad to me, except that I was constantly afraid of Winston catching it.
A friend warned me, “the year when my son went to daycare, I had never been sicker in my entire life. He brought home all kinds of nasty stuff, and I was almost constantly sick.” He asked me to brace myself for it! - I am already thinking about home logsitics when Winston goes to daycare next year. I will probably have to keep a nanny still – either a live-in nanny or a couple of part-time nannies that could be on call. Indeed it is so much work to raise a kid that I do wonder how others can handle more than one kid. Another friend said that he could not figure out how people could deal with even just one baby, since he already found it challenging to take care of just one dog! :)
Yes, perhaps I should brace myself for more illnesses to happen to poor little Winston. However, no matter how much I brace myself, I will probably still find it painful to see him sick.
He’s still at home with the live-in nanny, because I want to postpone the time when he will be catching all kinds of viruses and germs until he’s at least 2 years old. Therefore, I was not happy with the nanny or Michael. Of course, as a mother, I immediately noticed a lot of things – he was dressed too lightly, he did not have enough blanket on him, he was not separated from sick kids in the park, and his hands were not promptly washed or wiped after touching dirty things, etc.
Several friends told me that parents suffer more than the kids when the kids are sick, especially babies, and they are right. While I had a lingering cold for almost a month, somehow it was not that bad to me, except that I was constantly afraid of Winston catching it.
A friend warned me, “the year when my son went to daycare, I had never been sicker in my entire life. He brought home all kinds of nasty stuff, and I was almost constantly sick.” He asked me to brace myself for it! - I am already thinking about home logsitics when Winston goes to daycare next year. I will probably have to keep a nanny still – either a live-in nanny or a couple of part-time nannies that could be on call. Indeed it is so much work to raise a kid that I do wonder how others can handle more than one kid. Another friend said that he could not figure out how people could deal with even just one baby, since he already found it challenging to take care of just one dog! :)
Yes, perhaps I should brace myself for more illnesses to happen to poor little Winston. However, no matter how much I brace myself, I will probably still find it painful to see him sick.
On Route to Boston Again...
I wrote the entry below almost 2 weeks ago, but have been too busy to post it until just now....
I am on the plane again, and again flying from San Francisco to Boston, almost exactly one month after my previous trip. In a way, I am very happy about the business trip. I will get to meet with many different biotech companies, learning about their various programs. It is intellectually stimulating. I might have time to see a friend, but that is not even certain - this time the schedule is so tight that I have scheduled 36 face-to-face meetings at the conference, not to mention having to deal with my usual daily business emails at the end of the day and attending the conference receptions to make new contacts for business development purpose. Boston is now entering the fall season, which is considered by most people to be the best season for the city. I might be one of the few people on earth who have lived in Boston for years and who still love its hot, steamy and green summer than its cool, dry and colorful autumn. I love the idea of life at its prime, and never enjoy the season why things start to fall, wither and die. I was after all born in the heat of the summer. And so was my dear little darling boy Winston. Well, he probably does not like the hot summer as much as I do, since he was born in June, the beginning of summer, which is perhaps the most beautiful month of the year.
Ah yes my little Winston! Right now, he should be sound asleep in his crib for his afternoon nap. I have left detailed instructions for the nanny as well as Michael, but I still fret over numerous things. Will the nanny pay attention to the temperature change enough to change his clothes so that he’s neither too hot nor too cold? Will Michael remember to turn on the baby monitor at night before he goes to sleep? Will the nanny give him enough water and fruits so that he will not be constipated? Will Michael remember how to give him a bath and what to dress him at night? Will they remember to open his windows in the morning to air out his room, and close his window and door when he goes to sleep? The list goes on and on...
Indeed since I came back from the last trip to Boston, I caught a terrible cold that last for over 3 weeks. Even now I am still coughing. The stress associated with moving from South San Francisco combined with having to continue working while taking care of Winston has perhaps contributed further to weakening my immune system to fight off viruses and bacteria. I took the entire course of azithromycin, and then cough syrup with codeine, and finally started to recover. Meanwhile, Michael has stayed up alll night periodically to finish up his grand proposals. As one of my friends observed, middle-age is perhaps the hardest period of one’s life, when one has so many responsibilities at work and at home.
Winston has been going to the nearby parks. As I am writing, I start wondering if he’s now bored by the same park that the nanny likes to take him. She got to meet some other nannies and therefore likes to take him there. But he has such short attention spans! Maybe when I go back to Bay Area, I should tell the nanny to alternate among the parks. - I am already making a list of things to tell the nanny upon my return, even though I have not yet landed in Boston! :)
Speaking of the move, we finally moved from South San Francisco to sunny Palo Alto end of August. It was a lot of work but everyone is so much happier, including the nanny. In fact, she would not have come to work for me had it not been for the fact that we would be moving to Palo Alto soon. She did not like South San Francisco at all, for its weather, its neighborhood or its location.
When I took my parents-in-law to the airport last week, I took advantage of the opportunity to have lunch with a friend in Burlingame, and then got a facial and a haircut at places she recommended. It was essentially a half personal day for myself, and it felt great. Another friend told me, “I have learned in a very hard way that we need to take very good care of ourselves before we can take care of people around us.” Perhaps that is something I should keep in mind. Indeed when I feel good, I can do much more than when I feel awful emotionally or physically.
So perhaps I will not push myself to host that house-warming party any time soon. I will take it easier.
I am on the plane again, and again flying from San Francisco to Boston, almost exactly one month after my previous trip. In a way, I am very happy about the business trip. I will get to meet with many different biotech companies, learning about their various programs. It is intellectually stimulating. I might have time to see a friend, but that is not even certain - this time the schedule is so tight that I have scheduled 36 face-to-face meetings at the conference, not to mention having to deal with my usual daily business emails at the end of the day and attending the conference receptions to make new contacts for business development purpose. Boston is now entering the fall season, which is considered by most people to be the best season for the city. I might be one of the few people on earth who have lived in Boston for years and who still love its hot, steamy and green summer than its cool, dry and colorful autumn. I love the idea of life at its prime, and never enjoy the season why things start to fall, wither and die. I was after all born in the heat of the summer. And so was my dear little darling boy Winston. Well, he probably does not like the hot summer as much as I do, since he was born in June, the beginning of summer, which is perhaps the most beautiful month of the year.
Ah yes my little Winston! Right now, he should be sound asleep in his crib for his afternoon nap. I have left detailed instructions for the nanny as well as Michael, but I still fret over numerous things. Will the nanny pay attention to the temperature change enough to change his clothes so that he’s neither too hot nor too cold? Will Michael remember to turn on the baby monitor at night before he goes to sleep? Will the nanny give him enough water and fruits so that he will not be constipated? Will Michael remember how to give him a bath and what to dress him at night? Will they remember to open his windows in the morning to air out his room, and close his window and door when he goes to sleep? The list goes on and on...
Indeed since I came back from the last trip to Boston, I caught a terrible cold that last for over 3 weeks. Even now I am still coughing. The stress associated with moving from South San Francisco combined with having to continue working while taking care of Winston has perhaps contributed further to weakening my immune system to fight off viruses and bacteria. I took the entire course of azithromycin, and then cough syrup with codeine, and finally started to recover. Meanwhile, Michael has stayed up alll night periodically to finish up his grand proposals. As one of my friends observed, middle-age is perhaps the hardest period of one’s life, when one has so many responsibilities at work and at home.
Winston has been going to the nearby parks. As I am writing, I start wondering if he’s now bored by the same park that the nanny likes to take him. She got to meet some other nannies and therefore likes to take him there. But he has such short attention spans! Maybe when I go back to Bay Area, I should tell the nanny to alternate among the parks. - I am already making a list of things to tell the nanny upon my return, even though I have not yet landed in Boston! :)
Speaking of the move, we finally moved from South San Francisco to sunny Palo Alto end of August. It was a lot of work but everyone is so much happier, including the nanny. In fact, she would not have come to work for me had it not been for the fact that we would be moving to Palo Alto soon. She did not like South San Francisco at all, for its weather, its neighborhood or its location.
When I took my parents-in-law to the airport last week, I took advantage of the opportunity to have lunch with a friend in Burlingame, and then got a facial and a haircut at places she recommended. It was essentially a half personal day for myself, and it felt great. Another friend told me, “I have learned in a very hard way that we need to take very good care of ourselves before we can take care of people around us.” Perhaps that is something I should keep in mind. Indeed when I feel good, I can do much more than when I feel awful emotionally or physically.
So perhaps I will not push myself to host that house-warming party any time soon. I will take it easier.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)